Bedtime-I dread this time of the day

Why is it my two children (the babies) REFUSE to cooperate with Bedtime? This isn't something that has been going on since birth...this just recently started. It used to be just the one that fought this issue, now it's BOTH!!

Madalynn- she will be 10 months old TOMORROW! She has been a great baby. She rarely fusses, she is easy going, playful, affectionate and loves her sleep...I mean she used to love her sleep. About a month ago that all changed. She does not object to nap time, she goes down at around the same time every day and sleeps about an hour to 2 hours with each nap. Nap time and Bedtime have ALWAYS been consistent with the routine and the time. Typically she gets a bath at 6 O'clock pm and then gets lotioned up and her jammers are then put on. She is usually whiny and clingy starting at around 6pm. 7pm she is then taken upstairs to her own bedroom, placed in her crib with a bottle of warm milk (I know that is a no-no, but we all do it) and a pacifier along with a blanket or two. Her lullaby music is then turned on and her door is cracked. That used to seal the deal, but now she cries when placed
in her crib at Bedtime (not nap time). We usually end up having to take her out of her crib and bring her back downstairs for a while. Tonight though I refused to give in!! I was just as stubborn as she was. I let her cry it out! Her pediatrician said she's old enough to cry it out, so I finally tried it out. I let her cry until she fell asleep. I knew she was fine. She wasn't wet, she wasn't hungry, she definitely wasn't too cold or hot, she was just mad that I put her to bed. I am not sure why, but I'm starting to think it may be separation anxiety?!? The end result thus far...she fell asleep. I hope she stays asleep. That is my other gripe as of late. Ever since she started teething her upper teeth she has been waking up 2, 3, 4 times a night just for me to find her pacifier and give it to her or she wants a bottle! Lord help me!! I'm worn out. Should I just allow her to cry herself
back to sleep in the middle of the night too?

*she woke up 10 minutes later, so I decided to go check on her. I gave her, her bottle and so far so good...

Nolan- he is 26 1/2 months old and... well... I've blogged about his sleeping issues before, but I figured I would blog about him as well since nothings really changed and yes I am frustrated. We decided to test out a nap free day for him. We're wondering if he just isn't tired at 7 or 8 pm and not ready to go to bed due to him napping. Yesterday was a nap free day and he fell asleep at 6:20pm in the van, on our way home. He stayed asleep until 10:20pm, woke up crying and cranky and I had to stay in his room until he fell asleep. Then...around 2am he was in our bed for the remainder of the night and awake at 5:50am!! Today he didn't nap, and went to bed at 8pm. He cried, he screamed and protested having to go to bed, but after 5 minutes of me sitting with him and singing lullabys. I also said a prayer over him aloud, in hopes that, that will help keep him asleep ALL NIGHT and sleep
restfully and peacefully.

I am so ready for these two children to start sleeping through out the night, in their own beds, and not fighting Bedtime any longer.

Pizza

Dear Blog...

It's me again! I am coming to you because I am having withdraws...my mouth is salivating for it...my stomach is begging for it...I can feel the crunch of the crust, the warm red sauce, the melted cheese and pepperoni on my tongue. I NEED IT! It's been a few weeks since I had it. I'm making my husband go get me some. I can't take it any longer.

he's a keeper

As you know from my previous post, yesterday was our 4 year 1st Date Anniversary. Yes we celebrate our 1st date! Without our 1st date there would never be a wedding anniversary to celebrate. Anyhow...I went shopping yesterday with the kids and he went hunting. When I got home dinner was waiting for me...with candlelight, a homemade card and a glass of wine! He actually took the time to recreate what we had eaten on our 1st date at Dillons Restaurant. I had fish, he had steak. He made awesome mashed potatoes with cream cheese and sour cream and made a salad as well. I was actually impressed. He put his heart into celebrating "US."

Michael I adore you and I look forward to at least 60 more 1st date Anniversaries!

Love,
Your Everything!

Our Very First Date...4 Years Ago Today!

Happy First Date to us!

4 years ago Yesterday he asked me on a date....

4 years ago Today we went on our first date....

Here is our Story....
Friday October 27th, 2006 at 5pm I was pulling out of the parking lot where we both worked. I noticed out of the corner of my eye he was running down the stairs, out of the office building waving me to stop. I rolled my window down and he said if I am free some time maybe we can go to dinner and a movie. I said "yeah, that sounds good to me." He handed me his business card and I gave him my cell number. He then asked me if I was busy tomorrow? If not then maybe we could go to a movie and dinner. I told him that was fine with me. I was so excited and anxious. I couldn't wait! The next morning (Saturday, October 28th) I went to breakfast and he called me to make sure we were still "on" for our date? I told him yeah, so we planned on him picking me up at 7pm at my apartment.

7pm...he called me and told me that he was close by, so I stayed on the phone with him and directed him to my apartment. He looked so handsome walking up those stairs to my apartment. He was wearing jeans, a button down, long sleeve shirt and he smelled WONDERFUL!! We then got into his company truck and that even smelled delightful. I remember he had a Gold Canyon Air Freshener hanging from his rear view mirror. The scent was "Autumn Walk." I will never forget that smell. He decided to take me to Dillons Restaurant and then decided to go watch a movie. We decided to watch Saw III. No sooner then the previews started he was asleep!! I tried to wake him up, but since I hardly knew him I didn't really know what to do...so I let him sleep and I watched that scary movie ALL by MYSELF! As the movie ended and the credits were running he suddenly woke up! I was so relieved because I thought I
was going to have to leave him there and call a friend for a ride. We went back to my apartment and a few friends of mine who lived a couple apartments away came over and visited with us for a while. It was then 3am and I had to go to sleep. I told Michael he could stay the night so he didn't have to drive the hour home after he had been drinking. So I let him sleep in my bed and I slept in my sons bed since they were at their dads that weekend. I showed him to my room and then gave him a "quick" kiss goodnight.

3 hours later at 6am...I heard a knock on the bedroom door and he came in and asked me if I had anything to make breakfast with? I said yes and he made me breakfast. That day he spent the entire day with me. We napped and we watched football. Our date ended at around 4pm that Sunday. I was in a state of heaven.

Story to be continued in 2 weeks....

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Text Message

I received these 2 texts from my wonderful husband while he was at work. I just wanted to post these so I could brag lol...

Text Message Received* Wed (10/13) @ 9:11pm
I love you more each and everyday. I never knew i could feel this way over one person but you have definately made me the happiest man in the world

Text Message Received* Tue (10/12) @ 9:45pm
I know i dont tell you enough but you mean the world to me and i appreciate everything you do for me and our family. I love you so much for it

Excitement over a Trash Can

Who would think that a trash can would excite somebody? I never got excited over a trash can until today! In fact a trash can to me is dirty, stinky, full of disgusting, old and out dated food, dirty diapers, boogers, feces, blood...the list can go on.

Let me explain why I was excited to see a trash can today....

When Michael and I moved out to the country we were excited to finally be "rid" of the trash bill. I'm sure your asking where are these people going to put their trash then? The benefits of living in the country is the permission to burn. So we have a burn barrel where we burn our trash. Well that was great until...we found out that DIAPERS DO NOT BURN! That's no bueno when we have 2 children still wearing diapers. Now I'm sure you're probably asking where are these people putting the diapers? That's why we finally chose to request trash services for our "humble abode." The last 4 1/2 months we've been having to put the diapers in a grocery bag, then once a month we transport garbage bags full of putrid smelling diapers into town (14 miles away) and illegally throw them into dumpsters behind gas stations. I refuse to travel abroad with the smell of poop and pee lingering in my vehicle!

Other items that we aren't able to burn and have to keep separated from the trash are aluminum items, glass, batteries, aerosol cans and FOOD! I am so sick and tired of having to scrape food into a "slop bucket" and then take it out to the garden and dump it!

The luxuries of a Trash Can!

Chilean Miners Rescue

I am watching on live television (CNN - Anderson Cooper 360) the Chilean Mine Rescue underway. I was lucky enough to be able to watch the very 1st Miner being rescued. That was emotional and chilling. What an awesome miracle and to be able to watch history unfold. I am so excited for these men and their families. What a remarkably moving story. These men are courageous, strong-willed, and faith driven. God bless and praying for a speedy and safe recovery for all.

Conversations with Myself

Day 2: The meaning behind my blog name...

"Conversations with Myself"

I have a passion for writing. I find writing to be cathartic, and enjoyable, especially because it comes come from my heart. I am happy that I have access to a great place to express myself, and publish my writings immediately. To converse with one's self is an important aspect of working out feelings that are deep within the soul. I have always made a habit of talking to myself. Of course I don't walk around talking incoherently, instead I choose to blog. I ponder on many things, and find solace in the quiet times when I can be alone with my thoughts. I find blogging to be therapeutic.

So this is why I just recently changed my blog name to Conversations with Myself. These conversations have also helped me make the right choices in many aspects of my existence. Knowing my wants, and desires have taught me to remain grounded and content when it counts. I spent a lot of time trying to get my head, and heart on the same page, and the everyday conversations with me and the virtual world make my decisions and life easier. I am thankful for guiding myself through the best and worst of everyday, knowing I can always converse with the person that knows me best; Me. 

Interesting facts about me...

In accordance to the "just for fun" blog

Day 1: 15 interesting facts about lil ol' me and a recent pic of me (yikes I HATE me pics)

1. I over analyze things
2. I question my faith at times
3. I have a treadmill but I've only used it 3 times since I purchased it in March of 2009
4. I love high heels
5. I actually miss working outside of the home
6. I think Irishmen have sexy voices
7. I think chest hair on a man is SEXY
8. I am spontaneous
9. I hate talking on the phone
10. I will never use a bottle of nail polish more then once
11. I want to go skydiving one day
12. I bite the skin around my nails
13. I want to go to the grand ol opry one day
14. I got married on 11-11 at 11:11 pm
15. I want to go to fiji on day and stay in a hut over the water

Just for fun

I have tried a few of these "blog challenges" and I'm not good at keeping up with the daily activity due to being a very busy, stay-at-home mom of a 9 month old and a 2 year old. I hardly have time to wipe after using the restroom...(I do wipe fyi)...it was just a figure of speech. Anyhow...I am going to participate in yet another "challenge." Only this one is a "just for fun" kinda challenge. When I'm up to it I will post according to the number I am posting about. I am still working on the last challenge "a letter a day." I have written 2 letters thus far and just haven't found and or made the time for anymore.

Just for fun...
Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02 - The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03 - A picture of you and your friends
Day 04 - A habit that you wish you didn't have
Day 05 - A picture of somewhere you've been to
Day 06 - Favorite super hero and why
Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09 - Something you're proud of in the past few days
Day 10 - Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11 - Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12 - How you found out about blogs and why you made one
Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14 - A picture of you and your family
Day 15 - Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16 - Another picture of yourself
Day 17 - Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18 - Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19 - Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20 - Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21 - A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22 - What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23 - Something you crave for a lot
Day 24 - A letter to your parents
Day 25 - What I would find in your bag
Day 26 - What you think about your friends
Day 27 - Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28 - A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29 - In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30 - Who are you?

Migraines

I am a sufferer of Migraines...I don't wish this type of pain on anybody. This is torture. When pain causes you to become nauseated that's not good. Like labor pains, migraines are unmistakable. First you feel downright sensitive, next comes an intense, throbbing pain, usually on one side of your head. Light, sound and movement make the pain worse. All you want to do is sequester yourself in a dark, quiet room. That's not always possible either when you have a 9 month old and a 2 year old. What's even more of a pain is the intense neck pain and stiffness. I associate that pain with what a "whiplash" feels like. I am starting to find out that these migraines are in combination with my menstrual cycle. As if bleeding for 5-7 days , bloatedness, moodiness, and cramping aren't enough? Then you have to add a migraine. I have a prescription for Relpax (a migraine medicine) and it works great,
but of course I'm all out and my copay is $50! I think I will pass and try some Excedrin Migraine. Argh...I am going on day 2 of this intense pain!

This is cute love

That's Beautiful To Me lyrics
By Jaron and the Long Road to Love

You were Juliet and I was into you
And I asked you out til you couldn't say no
And you finally felt it too.
I drove you down the boulevard
That's where you took my heart
And you gave me yours instead
And every day you find new ways to be beautiful
You laugh at the garden that won't grow in the lawn.
Drink coffee in the kitchen with no makeup on
Sing all the wrong word to my favorite songs
You're beautiful and that's beautiful
You got lines on your face from sleeping on me
Call me at work cause you lost your key
Go to buy a dog and you come home with three
You're beautiful and that's beautiful to me
You turn every head when you walk into a room
But your kindness and your sweetened soul lingers like perfume.
Babe, you coulda gone with Romeo
But you let him go
And you stayed with me instead
And every day I find new ways that make you beautiful
You say honey give me roses but don't buy red
You need 46 pillows all over the bed
You guess every punchline before its said
You're beautiful and thats beautiful
What's she doing with a guy like me?
You're so cool and I'm high tea.
I don't deserve to
Have a girl as beautiful as you
You laugh at the garden that won't grow in the lawn.
Drink coffee in the kitchen with no makeup on
Sing all the wrong word to my favorite songs
You're beautiful and that's beautiful
You got lines on your face from sleeping on me
Call me at work cause you lost your key
Go to buy a dog and you come home with three
You're beautiful and that's beautiful to me
You're so beautiful
And that's beautiful to me.

Birth Day

It was 7:56 am, on Thursday, December 31st, 2009 that my breath was taken from me. I had been waiting for that moment for 37 weeks! I chose to not find out the gender of our baby because I wanted to actually be "surprised." I never really appreciated the definition of the word surprise (sur·prise  (sr-prz)

tr.v. sur·prised, sur·pris·ing, sur·pris·es

1. To encounter suddenly or unexpectedly; take or catch unawares.

2. To attack or capture suddenly and without warning.

3. To cause to feel wonder, astonishment, or amazement, as at something unanticipated.

4.

a. To cause (someone) to do or say something unintended.

b. To elicit or detect through surprise.)

Until that exact second I was told I had had a "GIRL!" I was overcome with Joy, Astonishment and Amazement...I was elated. I cried, I laughed and I smiled the biggest smile I think I ever smiled in my life! I fell in love all over again.

That morning in a nutshell...
I remember it was dark, cold and snowing when we left our house to head over to the hospital. I was so excited to meet this baby that I had been carrying for 10 months. It was my 4th baby, but it was different. I developed a bond with my 1st 3 babies once I found out the gender (all boys). You just kind of get to know that little person you're creating. With this pregnancy I didn't even know the gender of this baby. It was as if I was meeting a stranger that day. I obviously loved this baby, but we didn't develop a bond because I didn't know how to relate to this alien inside of me. Its hard to understand if you've never experienced this, but I'm sure others will completely understand. I looked over at Michael while he was driving and said "in a few hours we'll know if this is a boy or a girl." The entire pregnancy we had names picked out for both a boy or a girl. However 3 days before D-Day I changed my mind on the girl name. Michael came home from work and I told him if we have a girl her name isn't going to be Bella. He was confused. I told him her name is going to be Madalynn. He wasn't wild about the name, but he wasn't against it either. I found the name Madalynn off of a blog that I had been following. They spelled her name Madeline. Michael did not like the spelling. Anyhow...we arrived at the hospital, they handed me over my sexy gown to change into, they prepped me for surgery, the anesthesiologist came in, asked me questions, I signed my life away, was poked, prodded, given disgusting sour medicine to drink and then it was time...I was so nervous! I didn't want to deal with the epidural. I have serious anxiety attacks when it comes to needles. But I knew it had to be done in order to have this baby. So I walked into the operating room, it was so cold and sterile. I feel like I'm on death row walking to my lethal injection. I hopped up on to the table, and then it hit me like a brick wall. I lost all control of my emotions. I started shaking uncontrollably. The nurses were great, the doctors were patient and sympathetic. Finally the worst part was over...or so I thought! Remember this is my 4th c-section, this should be easy right? WRONG!! All of the sudden I felt the urge to vomit. This can't be happening to me. I'm strapped down on a surgical table, I am paralyzed from the stomach down, and I have to vomit! This has never happened to me before, why now? Then my blood pressure dropped and the anesthesiologist had to give me a medicine to relax me. So I puked 4 times, I was shaking and feeling like I was dying because my blood pressure was so low. My poor husband had no idea any of this was going on because he wasn't in the room yet. Finally he was able to come in and they had already started cutting. Then I felt like I was being turned inside out! I've never been pushed on and pulled so hard in my life. Michael couldn't believe his eyes. He thought I was going to die. I was in misery. Meanwhile everyone in the operating room was asking us if we knew what we were having, did we have names picked out, blah blah blah...they were so excited to find out what this baby was too, because they knew I had 3 boys. I was due for a girl. Then the moment came..."here comes the baby!" Michael said its a boy! Oh wait its a "GIRL!" I said "its a girl?" Oh my god you answered my prayers! Everyone was so happy! They said she was absolutely adorable. I said she's tiny. They said "no, she's a good size." I was in a state of bliss! I was in awe. I had a daughter. I just couldn't stop smiling. I was so happy and SURPRISED! That was a true surprise.

A few hours later...
I was wheeled up to my room and I remember looking over at her in the bassinet and saw pink! I saw the cutest pink blanket and this adorable little girl wrapped up in it. That was my little girl over there. Michael brought her over to me and I said her name is Madalynn.

A song that makes me smile

This song makes me think of Michael and Nolan. It melted my heart and made me smile when I heard it for the 1st time!

Brad Paisley "Anything Like Me" Lyrics

I remember thinking, I don't care either way.
Just as long as he or she is healthy, I'm okay.
But then the doctor pointed to the corner of the screen.
He said, see that thing right there, well you know what that means.
And I started wondering who he was gonna be and I thought heaven help us if he's anything like me.

He'll probably climb a tree too tall and ride his bike too fast.
End up every summer wearing something in a cast.
He's gonna throw a ball and break some glass in the window down the street.
He's gonna get in trouble.
He's gonna get if fights.
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep.
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me.

I can see him right now, knees all skinned up.
With a magnifying glass trying to melt the tonka truck.
Won't he be a sight with his football helmet on.
That'll be his first love til his first love comes along.
He'll get his heart broke by the time he's in his teens and heaven help him if he's anything like me.

He'll probably stay out too late and drive his car too fast.
Get a speeding ticket that he'll pay for mowing grass.
He's gonna get caught skipping class and get grounded for a week.
He's gonna get in trouble.
We're gonna get in fights.
I'm gonna lose my temper and some sleep.
It's safe to say that I'm gonna get my payback if he's anything like me.

He's gonna love me and hate me along the way.
The years are gonna fly by and I already dread the day.

He's gonna hug his mama.
He's gonna shake my hand.
He's gonna act like he can't wait to leave.
But as he drives out, he'll cry his eyes out if he's anything like me.

There's worst folks to be like.
Ah he'll be alright if he's anything like me