Birth Day

It was 7:56 am, on Thursday, December 31st, 2009 that my breath was taken from me. I had been waiting for that moment for 37 weeks! I chose to not find out the gender of our baby because I wanted to actually be "surprised." I never really appreciated the definition of the word surprise (sur·prise  (sr-prz)

tr.v. sur·prised, sur·pris·ing, sur·pris·es

1. To encounter suddenly or unexpectedly; take or catch unawares.

2. To attack or capture suddenly and without warning.

3. To cause to feel wonder, astonishment, or amazement, as at something unanticipated.

4.

a. To cause (someone) to do or say something unintended.

b. To elicit or detect through surprise.)

Until that exact second I was told I had had a "GIRL!" I was overcome with Joy, Astonishment and Amazement...I was elated. I cried, I laughed and I smiled the biggest smile I think I ever smiled in my life! I fell in love all over again.

That morning in a nutshell...
I remember it was dark, cold and snowing when we left our house to head over to the hospital. I was so excited to meet this baby that I had been carrying for 10 months. It was my 4th baby, but it was different. I developed a bond with my 1st 3 babies once I found out the gender (all boys). You just kind of get to know that little person you're creating. With this pregnancy I didn't even know the gender of this baby. It was as if I was meeting a stranger that day. I obviously loved this baby, but we didn't develop a bond because I didn't know how to relate to this alien inside of me. Its hard to understand if you've never experienced this, but I'm sure others will completely understand. I looked over at Michael while he was driving and said "in a few hours we'll know if this is a boy or a girl." The entire pregnancy we had names picked out for both a boy or a girl. However 3 days before D-Day I changed my mind on the girl name. Michael came home from work and I told him if we have a girl her name isn't going to be Bella. He was confused. I told him her name is going to be Madalynn. He wasn't wild about the name, but he wasn't against it either. I found the name Madalynn off of a blog that I had been following. They spelled her name Madeline. Michael did not like the spelling. Anyhow...we arrived at the hospital, they handed me over my sexy gown to change into, they prepped me for surgery, the anesthesiologist came in, asked me questions, I signed my life away, was poked, prodded, given disgusting sour medicine to drink and then it was time...I was so nervous! I didn't want to deal with the epidural. I have serious anxiety attacks when it comes to needles. But I knew it had to be done in order to have this baby. So I walked into the operating room, it was so cold and sterile. I feel like I'm on death row walking to my lethal injection. I hopped up on to the table, and then it hit me like a brick wall. I lost all control of my emotions. I started shaking uncontrollably. The nurses were great, the doctors were patient and sympathetic. Finally the worst part was over...or so I thought! Remember this is my 4th c-section, this should be easy right? WRONG!! All of the sudden I felt the urge to vomit. This can't be happening to me. I'm strapped down on a surgical table, I am paralyzed from the stomach down, and I have to vomit! This has never happened to me before, why now? Then my blood pressure dropped and the anesthesiologist had to give me a medicine to relax me. So I puked 4 times, I was shaking and feeling like I was dying because my blood pressure was so low. My poor husband had no idea any of this was going on because he wasn't in the room yet. Finally he was able to come in and they had already started cutting. Then I felt like I was being turned inside out! I've never been pushed on and pulled so hard in my life. Michael couldn't believe his eyes. He thought I was going to die. I was in misery. Meanwhile everyone in the operating room was asking us if we knew what we were having, did we have names picked out, blah blah blah...they were so excited to find out what this baby was too, because they knew I had 3 boys. I was due for a girl. Then the moment came..."here comes the baby!" Michael said its a boy! Oh wait its a "GIRL!" I said "its a girl?" Oh my god you answered my prayers! Everyone was so happy! They said she was absolutely adorable. I said she's tiny. They said "no, she's a good size." I was in a state of bliss! I was in awe. I had a daughter. I just couldn't stop smiling. I was so happy and SURPRISED! That was a true surprise.

A few hours later...
I was wheeled up to my room and I remember looking over at her in the bassinet and saw pink! I saw the cutest pink blanket and this adorable little girl wrapped up in it. That was my little girl over there. Michael brought her over to me and I said her name is Madalynn.